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Have you ever looked at a cockroach and wondered why is it we are so afraid of them? That repulsive gut-wrenching moment when you catch one in the corner of your eye and suddenly freeze, wondering if it has any wings if it’s going to hide, never to be seen again. And then the urge to kill it becomes an unstoppable force. Meanwhile, the cockroach is in shock. When fear is the first reaction to a new undiscovered object, there is perhaps something deep within that seizes the initial moment when our eyes meet with the object that introduces fear. But that just might be the answer to all of our problems. Consider this scenario for a moment: What if fear was not the first reaction to something unfamiliar? For instance, consider a normal afternoon, you’ve just finished cooking and are enjoying a nice meal along with some Tv, suddenly you notice a presence and feel uneasy. But wait, we are replacing fear with something else. So now you go and grab the cockroach and you enjoy the meal and movie together. Now of course it won’t be the same as a dog or a cat or anything for that matter, but ask yourself, why? Don’t cockroaches deserve to watch some good tv? Don’t cockroaches deserve to live in peace with the rest of the world? or no, they are born to be disliked , and to be killed at first glance because they are cockroaches. Chapter 1 “GET UP, ITS TIME TO MOVE, THE BLAZING WOMAN IS BACk” Urah stood up in a panic and looked around for his father. “GET UP NOW GODDMAN IT, DO YOU WANNA JOIN THE REST? THE DEATH WOMAN IS GOING TO BRING THE CLOUDS ANYTIME AND I AM NOT GOING TO END UP ON HER FACE AS A SMILE” (hinting to the fact that he doesn’t want to die and give the death woman the satisfaction” Shira ( the death woman) was a retired actor who wanted to spend the final years of her life isolated, far far away from it all. The doctors told her she won’t survive another year. That was some years ago when she found out she had terminal cervical cancer Shira lived as a beloved actress her entire life, from the age of 14 till 45, she conquered almost everything a person can possibly conquer. Everywhere she went, people would swarm around as if she were the only living thing in the world, flashing their cameras, shouting her name, and begging for a picture. She was kind enough to give everyone as much attention as they asked for. She was a global phenomenon. Until that is, she got news of her illness. Doctors told her there are promises of new treatment, but there’s no guarantee. She didn’t want any of it. Once those words were out of the doctor’s mouth, it was as if they declared war on Shira’s entire existence, once they marched and breached her ears, she just gave up. She wrote a letter for her fans and loved ones, left everything she had and disappeared. “ Dear World, I lived a life many cannot even dream of. I have been so blessed to experience all life has to offer and I could not be happier. I have given enough of myself to the world and now it is time to be with myself, at peace. Remember, no matter who you are, where you are, to live is to die living life. And I lived many lives” No one heard from her after that letter. Nobody could find her. Nobody bothered to find her, and she knew it. She had done her share of the work for the world and there was nothing else to give. She wished for once, she would be the taker for a change. Her house was simple. Filled with books and movies. There was an upstairs floor but that was just for her bed. She had a tiny burnt barn on the verge of collapse. When the cockroach infestation began a few years ago, she did everything in her power to get rid of them but to no avail, she was left frustrated, and a little inspired too. “fuck, why do cockroaches even exist! Fucking imbeciles, all they do is make everything ugly and disgusting” she thought to herself everyday that aside, Mud, her beloved horse died unexpectedly last year, and it was the final straw to drive her over the edge. she blamed Mud’s death on the cockroaches, so she burnt the barn with Mud’s body in it, in hopes of finishing the cockroaches once and for all. She wanted to rid her world of ugliness and disgust. Almost successful, she managed to destroy the cockroach “army” expect the last two. Urah and his father. Chapter 2 Urah was young. His entire family burned before his eyes and it left him to wonder forever, what did he do to deserve such fate? All Urah wanted to do was to explore beyond the barn. The furthest he could see was Shira’s house, through the rotten woods that reeked of Mud’s death, and his entire civilization. Urah wanted to understand the questions gnawing at his brain but didn’t know The world is not a place for a cockroach to understand. The world was for its destruction, the world had no place for Urah. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know who wrote the rules, he just didn’t understand what he had done to deserve to witness everything he held dear burnt to ashes. All of these questions drove him mad every day until he woke up to his father shouting. They knew what was coming. They’ve felt it for a while but did not want to believe the horrible reality. Shira was insistent on eradicating the remaining two cockroaches. Urah woke up and froze. He dashed to one of the holes and saw the house. Shira opened the door with two canisters behind her back and a plague doctor-type mask. It was a surprise that the barn was still standing, it was almost entirely burnt and was collapsing on itself little by little every day. The barn had no more value to Shira, it was nothing, Mud was dead, there was nothing of value in that little wooden shed,but regardless, she just couldn’t let it go. She had to finish the job, she had to destroy them all. With every step she took towards the barn, their death was that much more certain. There was nowhere else to go. It had not crossed their mind to go and hide in her house instead of the barn. Such a simple solution never crossed their mind because the house was enemy territory. And who in their right mind would leave their home to go explore the enemy territory? “Urah look, this is it for us. I know you always wanted to see what is beyond this goddamn death shack but there’s nothing out there! Can’t you see? It’s just that goddamn house and nothing else! There’s no beyond, there’s no better place, and there’s not another world waiting to be discovered, there is only now and this barn, which will be our cemetery forever. It is our fate to be burnt, that is why we are here, we just survive until we don’t. and now my son, it’s time we embraced our end. One moment we are, and once she’s done, we are not any more” Every single word uttered to Urah was like a whirlwind in his stomach, dragging everything into itself and crumbling deep into a dark pit. “Is this really all there is? Is this the meaning of my existence?” The footsteps grew closer until it was heard behind the door and then, dead silent. Urah looked at his father, both still, waiting for the next series of events. They heard what sounded like equipment being used and they knew it was over. Shira entered the barn. It was dead silence. The only thing noticeable was her struggling to breathe through the mask.she took a good look around, remembering how it was when Mud was alive, how she used to caress his face and give him sugar cubes and carrots. Mud was the only thing left for Shira to love and care for and with him gone, the void began to eat her insides day by day, she took one last look around the barn. And then, she began to scream at the top of her lungs. She screamed and screamed, and it felt like the screeching would never stop. This screamed as if this was the last sound ever to be heard. She screamed until her knees hit the ground and the entire barn felt the tremor of her pain. She slowly began to lift her head, struggled to stand up but managed eventually. She had something that reeked of destruction. “Dad, that’s not poison, that’s a fucking flamethrower!” Chapter 3 Some years passed after that night. Shira burnt the entire barn to the ground, and it was magnificent. She had finally done the impossible! She rid her world of darkness and ugliness. Urah’s father tried to run away, but he was no match for the flames. Urah however, thought to himself even in those final moments, “This cant be it, THIS CANT BE IT” He tried to fit into one of the few holes remaining that wasn’t dancing with the flames, and so he dug and dug and squeezed himself with all of his will and right before he turns into ash like his people, he broke out the of the barn and fell to the ground. For a few seconds, nothing made sense. This outside world was a dream, this ground he was feeling, was a dream just a moment ago, and yet, it did not matter anymore because Urah had lost everything right before his eyes. He thought to himself “What the fuck! Why the fuck did I even try? I have nothing left to lose! I have nothing, everything is gone! Everyone I loved is gone, everything I know and lived, touched, and experienced is gone, burnt to the ground, and why? For what reason? What the fuck am I supposed to do now!” Urah felt it all, desperation, and suffocation. The feeling of powerlessness possessed his entire body. What is the point of anymore? Now that he was finally free, now that he was finally able to be free, he was hopeless. “ What the fuck is this sick comedy! What’s the point of being free like this? At what cost? I wanted to go explore the world, knowing I can come back and tell everybody about what is out there, and tell them there is something other than this, and that life is so much more than this stupid fucking barn! And so, after some minutes of cursing the universe, he decided to go to Shira’s house, to at least understand, who was the god of death? why did the god of death set aflame his entire existence> why did the god of death hated cockroaches? Why did the god of death blame Mud’s death on them? Did she not know he was sick? Did she not know Mud and the roaches were friends? What else did she not know? The more questions he asked, the more he understood that Shira might just not be a god. He understood long ago that fear drives people mad. Fear makes an enemy out of the unknown and teaches you to despise it, hate it and ultimately destroy it, because it serves no purpose. Chapter 4 Shira slept an eternal sleep the night she burned the barn to the ground. Rah was watching her sleep so peacefully and was more conflicted than angry. He thought to himself “ for me, just not a little ago I saw everything I ever held dear and loved, my life, my home, my land, my community ,my family, my identity , all destroyed because of what? Was she just angry and wanted to lash out and follow the route of big fuck small? Was she taking revenge on what happened to Mud? But how must I tell her that Mud was the unhappiest creature in this secluded world? horses belong to the wild not cooped up in a barn to be somebody’s lonely companion. I mean Mud for sure knew Shira had so much admiration but was it really selfless? If she cared about Mud, why would she forcibly keep Mud in the barn knowing horses belong not in a prison. How would she feel if she understood Mud deep down had disdain for her and wanted to die as soon as possible? or maybe she knew all of that and decided to do it all anyway? What a monster! Urah felt less conflicted and started to feel something close to resentment and frustration. It was as if everything he ever wondered, every single question about the world and the universe, every wonderment and question became meaningless, because none of it matters if somebody wakes up in a bad mood and decides to wipe out an entire world. even if that world is the world of cockroaches. Destruction and death do not know the difference between human and animal, insects, and plants. To death, they are all to be stopped from living. Urah was livid. He decided to explore the house. The walls of the main hall were designed like a library, full of books, letters from fans, vinyl records and random things her fans gifted her over the years. They were all on display, a little dusty but you could tell they were almost frequently used. There was a small jewelry box with an envelope on it. Urah’s curiosity drove him to open it. “ Dear world, I have killed what was left of me because of the ugliness the world entails. I have come to understand all of my pain and suffering is caused by the most disgusting creatures walking the earth, Cockroaches! They have ruined everything, you might not feel it, see it, or even think about it but, cockroaches are everywhere, in every part of the world, in every nook and cranny, you find them, all they do is spread dirt and diseases. As my last token of appreciation, I will tell you a story and I am sure the great people of the world will relate and act. My reason of disappearance was news of cancer. Doctors assured me I have terminal cancer and will not survive long, so I decided to isolate myself and spend my final days with myself and my life memories. I bought a small house with a barn and had a lovely companion named Mud. REST IN PEACE. I loved mud with everything I had but they took it. the cockroaches made him sick and killed him! And they had no reason to do so! Destruction and death are in their nature, can’t you see ? They do not even show mercy to the most majestic horse, let alone the rest of us. They understand no kindness, no happiness, and no life, they take and destroy and make everything ugly. I want to be remembered not as a global star, but as a public servant who discovered the real threat concerning us and our world. I took care of the ones I could, and my fight is finally over. Now the fate of the world rests upon the shoulders of you people. I have lived a great life, and it would have been even better if I lived a life rid of cockroaches, not knowing they exist. To live is to live freely from a world of cockroaches. Goodbye “ Urah went back to the bedroom and realized Shira was dead. committed suicide right after the barn incident. Chapter 5 There was a sense of relief when Urah eventually burned the letter at the ruins of the once majestic barn.it was as if he got his karmic redemption way too soon. There was no time to develop a sense of villainous nature to deal with the atrocities gifted to him. As he watched the death warrant of his kind slowly disintegrate into ashes, he thought about what is it exactly, which he is burning? The suicide letter of a once beloved global star with a narcissistic nature who could not have ever gotten enough attention. While simultaneously, absolutely hated being seen and celebrated, or even loved by people who did not matter. They did not matter because they were lesser, or irrelevant of any importance, but because their intentions were purely deflection. As if they saw themselves as Shira and they were cheering for her how they wished to be cheered and loved it, they were in Shira’s place. Or he is burning something much greater than he could possibly understand. For the first time ever in his life, Urah’s entire existence was not in danger of extermination. He was standing on the same footsteps Shira left behind on the muddy ground of the barn, just a night ago when she burned down the barn and with it, an entire world which she could not have possibly understood. He pressed his feet into the ground and fiercely tried to pierce into the mud, but to no avail he was not successful because he is a cockroach after all. He tasted the foot stepped mud. It tasted disgusting. In his mind, he assumed this mud would be the greatest thing he would ever taste, besides freedom. He looked around more but there was not much to look at but toasted cylindrical pieces of wood standing as a former column holding the barn. There was nothing left anymore but pure freedom of freedom. Urah beneath his feet, had the power to change the future of cockroaches forever. Sooner or later the mailman would come to bring some new books for Shira and to check on up on her. And he would soon find the faith of the beloved global star. But that faith was up to Urah. How Shira was to be remembered was completely up to the vengeful nature and intensity of a hero who survived witnessing the complete annihilation of his civilization by an enemy, to then, having the control to let ago of the atrocities witnessed and start an emancipatory story told through Shira, to finally bring together the world of cockroaches and humans together once and for all. The force responsible for this predicament that Shira was in, deciding the faith of his kind, telling the truth about what happened here today, from Shiras truth? or his own? Or maybe a truth altered just perfectly enough, to control history and the future in a slightly guided direction motivated by either revenge, anger, greed, or justice and freedom, was something beyond Urah’s understanding, and as the last few bits of the letter was burning, he decided that this force should not exist, because its with it, comes a burden of choosing between two impossibles, and nobody should ever be in that position ever again. So he went back to the house, crawled inside Shiras body and laid eggs. Then, he found the pen Shira used to write the letter, walked all the way to the first column of the barn where Mud used to be, tied himself to the pen and set himself on fire. in those final excruciating moments, Urah imagined the noble act he had just done. He surpassed everything the force threw at him and did not play into the dilemma of choosing this or that, but instead, he opened a new world for interpretation. A world where we even think about things takes on a whole new approach. For the first time, Urah felt real freedom and as he was burning, it felt like the birth of a new world. in those last moments Urah understood the meaning of redemption. He spared the world from what could have been a series of catastrophic events if Shira’s letter were to be discovered, the weight of her words would have shattered the world into a million pieces. Urah burned to his last bits in the same place where his world was destroyed. Chapter 6 Not long after, the mailman finally came with new books and some supplies. He was shocked to see what had happened to the barn, wondering what took place since he was gone. he stopped Infront of the house and honked a few times but nothing. Usually by the second honk, Shira used to open the door rushing towards the newly arrived books, as if she could sniff their scent before they are even opened. When for the first time, Shira didn’t show, and looking at the barn, the mailman knew something bad had happened, so he rushed to the house and ran upstairs to find our global star dead. There it was the most famous celebrity of the world was perfectly gorgeous even in death. Her skin was pale and the sunrays coming through the window made it seem as if she was just asleep. The mailman shook her a few times, checked her vitals to make sure she was dead. And then the mailman proceeded to satisfy his sexual perversions in anyway he could. When it was over, he just knew what must be done next. The mailman got some gasoline from his truck and poured it all over the house. then took Shira’s body to the barn and threw her on the ground, poured some gasoline and set her on fire. the mailman stood afar and watched the house burn along with Shira’s body and with it, her entire existence. Everything she ever loved and held dear was burnt, without anyone knowing about it. The ones that did, were spared with flames and her Horse mud, hated her for who she was. All gone in a matter of hours. The mailman was smart enough to save a few items and another suicide letter. In which Shira thanked the world for supporting and loving her. Urged them to never forget her, the importance of living life free, choosing freedom no matter what and the importance of love. at last, she asked the mailman to be recognized for his services and be appreciated in a proper manner. Final Chapter Her death was all over the world. some said it was the greatest tragedy of our era, some said she was the closest thing to a superhero. The entire world lit candles for her for a month straight and every media was talking about her. For almost a month straight, she was everything there ever was, but only in her death people truly felt love for her. A tragedy fell and a life ended, only then, she was worthy of selfless love. but even then, if people were to find out about her madness and obsession with cockroaches and how they are the danger of our civilization, would they still love her? Or would she turn into a series of headlines of “deranged has-been celebrity going on rants about cockroaches” or “ it is a tragedy what our current society has done to our beloved celebrities” or “Drug or isolation, what is the cause of Shira’s insanity” with a few folks here and there going around and preaching her word about the danger of cockroaches. This is entirely up to the people and how they are ready to decide for the last time which line of thought they are going to adopt? In their world, when something like this happens, what does it even mean to them? Why are they in such a place to have to think and react and decide about everything they see? Why can’t they just be bystanders for once and let something else do the deciding , choosing, thinking, and reacting. But nonetheless people will by choice or unconsciously, do all those things. What would have happened if Urah did not do the noble act, or what he assumed to be the righteous choice? What if he instead decided to believe he can change the fate and future of cockroaches without such extreme measures? Perhaps the world was not ready to understand cockroaches, and perhaps the world did not know how to understand cockroaches, or maybe what cockroaches are. but for the mailman, none of this mattered. because at the first sign of true power, knowing that there will be no consequences for his actions, the mailman acted purely out of self-interest. So, in a way it did not matter what was happening between Shira and Urah because the mailman does care, because he is a mailman