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september 13, 2023. september 13, 2023. september 13, 2023. part 8. Damn. Now, I felt like I just couldn’t have nothing man. Like, god damn !! I got more angry and slammed a can of blue diamond almonds into some wood. Almonds went all over the fucking place !! I love these type of almonds too. I had the Carolina reaper flavor !! The scattered almonds was the perfect symbolization of my life. All over the place except where it needs too be !! You don’t have much control over your own life, as you think you do !! You don’t gotta be locked up to know that. Life’s like prison without the walls, in a way. Businesses survive because of people’s interests. Because many people have that same interests !! And so, they buy the product. I just been depressed and shit. Which makes you not wanna do shit. Still don’t got my license even tho I got my permit. The simple things just seem hard to do. Like, sometimes when I woodwork even, I know how to figure out and do things, but my mind doesn’t want too think. It’s like, I get stressed easily. Like, my mind doesn’t wanna function. Maybe it’s just me needing to eat more. I feel like I barley eat anymore and that’s because I don’t like a lot of stuff we got and we got a lot of the same stuff. Plus, you get tired of certain foods after some time !! I ended up watching porn and going to sleep. I seek'd pleasure and so I watched some porn and masturbated. Pops wakes me up some time after I fell asleep and asks me what I need. He said to make sure I know what to get and I couldn’t just feel ok about this. Now, I’m looking incompetent as fuck !! I don’t like looking like a clown man !! I was just angry with myself. I did feel better after waking up, as sleep seems to take stress away. So does water, but I be forgetting to drink it. I still felt angry. I wanted this thing done already so I could get paid !! So that I could get my money !! When you keep making mistakes, while everyone is watching you, you feel like a fuck up. And if you’re a serious person like I am, so not a goofy, you’re gonna feel some type of anger !! Pops says lil bro will drive me in the morning after I told him what I needed. We talked for a bit and I went back to sleep afterwards. I had to rest my head !! I think everyone should at some point. Just take a nap. Sometimes, you sleep bad luck and bad energy away. In the very early hours of the 22nd, I was reminiscing about the family reunion we had like a couple weeks prior. I got up out the bed eventually and the almonds were gone. We have mice and I fucking hate mice !! So the thought of them eating it all, disgusted me !! There was some almond residue on the floor and stuff. Small dust. The almonds were extra spicy too. I checked my Facebook for messages later on. Like, in the daytime. Some pussy nigga texted me “Yo” and I responed with “what”. I figured it was that bitch’s man !! Already knew he was on some bullshit. Nigga sends me a whole paragraph on how I like to cuss women out from a screen cause they won’t buy my tables, blah blah blah. Nigga is a fucking reetard !! I cussed her out cause she’s very disrespectful. Stupid hoes always want something for nothing. I ended up going outside with the computer to cuss his bitchass out !! I went too the barn and somehow, this nigga knew my name. He texts me, “Mister Kwaysee”. How the fuck he know my name ?! Whatever. Nigga don’t scare me, cause I don’t scare !! I cussed his bitchass out. I sent the nigga a couple voice clips. I said that I don’t know who he is and that I don’t give a fuck who he is, but to stop texting me !! Stupid bitch wasn’t even in my town, so I don’t know how he knew my name. I never put my name out there neither !! Not on YouTube or any social media !! Not even my name for my Gmail's got my name. Not one of them !!! I don’t know. I blocked his bitchass. He come around my house, and he may not live that long. He gonna at least get hurt real bad !! Anyhow, I made myself some toll house cookies. 5 of them. I took them on the road as lil bro and I headed to Home Depot. We get there and when I was about to get out, lil bro tells me to hold on and I’m barely paying attention too him. I almost hit some fat Mexican nigga with my door. My fault. Dude was staring at me and I stared the fuck back !! Nigga I ain’t scared of you. I don’t give a mother fuck if I almost hit your fatass with the door !! I go out the car and kept staring at dude as he kept staring at me. He looked away and kept mother fucking walking !! Bitch. I went into Home Depot and it took me some time to get the stuff. I was asking some people questions on if I could get someone to work with me in the hardware aisle. I asked an old man where the screws were that I needed. I was detailed. He was an older black guy. I’m black too. He told me where the screws were. I looked and ain’t see them. I eventually found what I was looking for and told him I was drilling into wood. I asked him some questions. I asked him what was the difference between a regular washer and a lock washer. He just tells me the lock washer locks and that I don’t need it if I’m drilling into wood. He said that I need to drill a hole before adding the screws. I knew that, but ain’t know that. I knew that because I’m a woodworker. I ain’t know that cause I forgot. I had a stressful yesterday back then. I walked around the aisle and picked out some stuff. I took a while to get the right things I needed. I finally get online and buy the stuff. I went outside toward the car and got in. Lil bro asks me if I got everything and I said yeah. We went back to the house. I finally ended up putting up the awning !! It expands and contracts. It took some time to put up. Had to use a ladder and had to have some strength. Some real decent strength, which I have. I had to fix the covering part and that took some time. The directions said to not have the thing out when it’s windy. The awning was leaning a bit and grandma came outside and saw that. I went inside and put me a crunchy Buffalo chicken roll into the conventional oven with some flat fries. I also cut me a frozen snapple in half, to eat with a spoon like an icy. I looked at the directions after eating of what to do when the awning is leaning. I now knew what to do. I fixed the issue eventually and later got on hinge. A dating app. Pops paid me later on and I was happy. I was ready to get laid. He was asking me what percentage goes toward savings or something like that. I told him I needed too invest it and I kind of was thinking about investing it to grow it before getting laid. He says that in order to invest, you gotta have money saved first.