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Anyway, a month goes by again where we don't really talk much and my exams have just finished but my internet died for a week. He knows I've had no internet for a week, and invites me over to stream with him at his place and says he'll pay for my ticket and we'll do fun stream stuff together. He invites me to a call with him while he is streaming and asks me to go see him. Multiple times in this call I made it clear I would not be having sex with him. I asked him while he was live, "I don't have to sleep with you do I?" he laughs and says of course not. He also makes a joke saying he would never even dream of trying anything on me because his biggest fear is getting '#metoo'd'. This made me feel pretty safe. I'd met him before and thought I knew what he was like. I did not know him at all. If there's anyone young and impressionable reading this: please don't ever make the same mistake I did. I thought I was tough, I thought I could handle myself, I thought that if anything happened to me I could always just leave but that's not what it's like at all. You just don't know what your reaction is going to be to this sort of thing until it happens to you. Please don't be stupid like I was. I turn up to his city and he ignores my messages, he's laughing on stream about how he's not going to meet me at the station. Whatever, I thought it was just an act for his stream, playing the misogynist or something. I put up with it because I wanted to make it on twitch back then, I put up with a lot. I went along with the stream. For those of you who watched the stream: yeah he was a huge dick. I know. I thought it was all an act and that once the stream ended he would be nice and the version of him that I thought I knew. The verbal abuse didn't end, he was nitpicky, mean, comparing me to other streamers. He was dragging other streamers down too, calling all the "Rajj girls" whores. However, I couldn't leave at this point. My phone was fucked, it was super late too. I had gone out in the rain to his local shop to buy him new bedsheets because he promised me he would have a fresh bed for me and he would sleep on the floor. When I got there the bed was disgusting. I wanted to do it up nicely for him, I tried taking a picture of the bed before so that I could do a 'before/after' sort of thing. He said under no circumstances am I allowed to take any pictures in his flat. Anyway, I didn't have a raincoat so my phone suffered water damage from the walk in the rain. While he was streaming I was quite aware that the chat were the only access I had at the time to the outside world. At the end of the stream I remember saying that, that I didn't want him to end the stream because 'chat were all I had'. I said it as a joke obviously but didn't know how much later on that would be true. The stream ends and he's keen to go to bed. He hops straight into the bed with me and to be honest I didn't actually mind this. I thought we might spoon and I was okay with that - I was a huge fan of spooning. He shares things with me at this point I think to try and push my buttons. Tells me that if I stopped eating so that I had a 'borderline anorexic' body, that I would make a much better spoon. He tells me dark things about how he's always wanted to kill a woman, just to see what it's like. That he wants to see the panic and fear in her eyes fade. Again, I brushed it off as a joke, I thought he was just trying to freak me out. He tells me that the 'next girl' is coming in a month. Another twitch streamer. He doesn't tell me who it is, I was aware that the month before me he had @Introverb around. He drove 130mph down a country lane with her in the car and they had crashed. A near miss and she could have fucking died - he seemed to find this part hilarious. I remember when I saw that picture of his smashed up car, I was so relieved that it wasn't me in that car.