Read Aloud the Text Content

This audio was created by Woord's Text to Speech service by content creators from all around the world.

Text Content or SSML code:

I mourn the days and nights I've wasted thinking about what happened to me. I first met him at twitch con. I thought he was funny and a bit socially unaware but in a sweet sort of way. After twitch con he reached out to me a few times to get my attention, we had flirted a bit but never exchanged anything or sexted. One night he was desperate to see me, it was last year the day after I finished my uni exams for the year. He drove up in his car and arrived in the middle of the night. I remember thinking it was romantic. He drove me an hour out of the city up to a lake where we watched the sun rise. He seemed to take joy in driving 130mph on the motorway even after I screamed for him to stop, I thought he was just being reckless and romantic again. He stayed over that night, we slept on the sofa together. We spooned, and I liked that, I wanted to spoon and it was sweet. He tried to move his hands elsewhere and initiate something further that night, I simply moved them away and told him I didn't want to do anything like that and he said that was fine and stopped. He said the weirdest thing that night that stuck with me for ages, I asked him what the weirdest thing he'd ever jerked off to was. He said he loves imagining commiting mass genocide, lining up one race against a wall and just shooting them all. It didn't seem like the appropriate time for a joke but I laughed anyway, I really thought he was joking. Maybe he was? I dont know, he joked about a lot of things and I never knew if he really meant them. A few weeks go by and after this night he doesn't talk to me much at all, is very distant. I get the impression he's not interested in me so I dropped it. However one night we did go on a call, I wanted to talk to him about meeting up for drink with a mutual friend of ours. I had not spoken to him a while so I was nervous to call. He seems like he's listening to me at first, then asks me to turn on the camera. I realise he has his penis out and he's been masturbating the whole time. I wanted to talk to him about the meeting up for drinks but he had a different agenda. He asks me to turn around. I hadn't showered in a couple days and was wearing pijamas and no makeup. He said all he needs is 30 seconds and then he'll talk about whatever I want. I stupidly, complied, I turned around, fully clothed and waited till he finished himself off. It was so strange to me because he jumped from something quite innocent to this straight away. I started talking about what I originally called about and he said he had to go and ended the call. I was so fucking stupid, I thought he was embarrassed and that he didn't have a good time and was ashamed. I didn't want him to feel embarrassed, I thought he was just some socially unaware gamer. I messaged him afterwards saying that I enjoyed the call and what happened in the call but that I didn't want anything like that with him ever again. I realised at this point that he didn't like me, just wanted to mess me about. I thought he was just a bit of a player too and I didn't want anything to do with that, but I told him I still wanted to be friends. He replied calling me a faggot.